All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
