Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize