Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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