oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
