tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
