Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
