I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
