It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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