I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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