are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
