The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
