he puts the penis in happiness.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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