the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
