yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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