Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think people are normalizing furries
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize