fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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