There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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