Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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