I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
