that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
