you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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