If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
