WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i will never coherently bang her
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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