god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize