Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
