Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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