"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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