Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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