he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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