who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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