Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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