you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
