Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
