Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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