The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
