To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
