the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
