I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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