I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize