He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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