we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need to calm my uterus...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
