yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize