i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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