Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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