Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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