4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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