next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
