I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I got inside last night via doggy door
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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