Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
