I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
