what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
