She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I cut my penus on the lid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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