I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
