I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
