then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
