I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
