well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
