Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
