She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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