just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
