Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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