Ambien. No doubt about it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
